Tag Archives: News

My Daughter’s Expecting

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

A baby. That’s what she’s expecting. My first grandchild. I’ve seen the ultrasounds and can say, objectively and unequivocally, that I have the best looking Grandfetus, ever.

My daughter, who is very bright, an accomplished poet and writer of stuff, is, with her husband’s assistance, in the process of her most ambitious, most creative arts and crafts project to date. She’s making a human. Way to go. When I was kid, I used to make model airplanes that actually flew, but this is way more impressive.

Meanwhile, my head’s being attacked by grandfatherly instincts which… I don’t know where they’re coming from, but they’re beginning to scare me. I fly occasionally on business and, lately, I’ve had trouble resisting the temptation to buy little baby t-shirts at the airports with the names of the cities where I’ve landed. I was thinking they would make for chit chat during play dates with other babies. I’m not sure about the other kids, but my grandchild will be able to talk at birth, like the E*TRADE baby, only more literate. (My son-in-law’s getting his Ph.D. in History. That should help.) Thank goodness I first got the idea landing in Charlotte where I decided not to buy one over concerns that a shirt with a person’s first name on it might confuse someone just learning his/her own.

When my kids were babies, I used to carry them around the house, walk around the mall, pointing at stuff, talking to them like they could understand everything I said. They would look at me and then at where I was pointing or what I was holding, occasionally making noises with their mouths that I was certain were words and sentences in the making. Every expression on their faces, and body language, became a meaningful, always highly intelligent and often humorous comment or suggestion. And then one day, in what seemed like no time at all, they started doing all the talking and teaching me things. As a new father, I thought it was the time of my life, until I realized how wonderfully interesting my kids were at every stage of their lives, even now. Maybe especially now.

Anyway, in a few months, if my daughter and son-in-law let me, I get to start all over, having really long conversations with my Granddaughter or –son. Doesn’t make any difference. We’re going to look at stuff, talk about business and politics, about building things, about the sky and about the birds and the squirrels on our deck. And she/he’ll sit next to me on the kitchen table while I write, giving me her/his critical advice. At first, the conversations will be pretty much one-sided until one day, soon enough, he/she’ll look at me, smile and say, “Hey. So what are we going to talk about today, Grandpa?” or, more likely, “I really don’t think you need the comma before that “too,” a pudgy little finger tapping my screen.

Now how cool is that?

-wf

Misdirection: The stupidity of increasing the retirement age.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Hi. Increasing the retirement age by a couple of years is a meaningless gesture that will have little or no sustained impact on the affordability of Social Security. It’s sort of like asking a Cheetah that hasn’t eaten a few days, at least nothing really tasty – Can you tell I’m on a diet? – to give your 90 year old grandmother an extra few seconds for her and her walker to get a head start. Dollars to donuts – Hmmm, donuts. – she’s had it.
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It’s time we paid China off.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

By “we,” I mean us. Literally, you and me, as opposed to Congress which could order the pay off, or the Department of the Treasury which could just do it. More on this distinction in a moment.

You know how your relationship with a person, a friend or relative, changes when you let them do you a favor? Especially if you borrow money from that person? It does, doesn’t it. You lose leverage. You know it, and the other person knows it. It may, in fact, be why the other person offered or agreed to do you that favor in the first place, to change your public, if not private, attitude toward his or her behavior. It used to be okay for you to be openly critical of that creep in your department, until he covered your ass with your supervisor when you blew that assignment.
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Political Quote of the Day: “They’re all a bunch of yahoos.”

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

That honestly profound observation in the headline was made by no more or less an authority than… than my wife. In her own, wonderfully direct way, she has summed up what’s wrong with our government.

It’s not about who we elect. Not really. Maybe it used to be, but not anymore. No. The media, obsessively focused on the politics of it all, may lead us to believe that it’s about ideologies, about inherent differences between Democrats and Republicans and now the Tea Party movement. Those differences are overblown, interesting at most, and pretty much irrelevant as a root cause for the mess we call “Washington.”

There are deeply rooted structural problems with our government which, until they are fully appreciated and corrected, will continue to prevent that government from managing effectively.

We have way too many players constantly running for office, who are, for all meaningful intents and purposes, clueless. What we have, is a simple political tradition which has evolved, which has been perverted to the point of requiring a very different skill set to get elected, than it takes to do what we need our representatives – the President included – to do after they are elected. The result is a superficiality of government which invariably misses the point.

All the pundits, analysts and victory speeches aside, after yesterday’s election, the only thing I know for sure is that I love my wife. If only she had political aspirations.

-wf

Question of the Day: Are we going to be breathing oil?

Friday, July 9, 2010

Hi. As I understand it, oil floats. At least some of the oil that’s leaked from the Deep Water Horizon wellhead is floating at or near the surface of the Gulf of Mexico.

Open water storms, including hurricanes, pick up moisture from the bodies of water over which they form and from which they derive their energy. Once they make landfall, that water becomes the rain that falls on our yards and streets, and on the crops growing in our fields, and that floods our streams and rivers. More importantly, it is the rain that touches our skin and permeates the air we breathe.

As workers who cleaned up after the Exxon Valdez will tell you, breathing oil isn’t good.

My question is, will the rain from storms crossing the oil in the Gulf contain even microscopic volumes of oil? To what extent does this oil-involved rain pose a health hazard, over what geographic area, and what are we going to do about it?

Anybody out there know?

Oh, in case you’re assuming our crackerjack government is on top of the problem, don’t hold your breath – unless, of course, it’s raining.

-wf

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Question of the Day: Exactly whose war is McChrystal fighting?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The question isn’t whether or not General McChrystal and his high ranking aids should have criticized the President and other national security senior players in public. His remarks, however accurate and commonly held within the military, were entirely inappropriate. He deserves to be fired. The President has no choice but to make an example of him and those of his staff who were unable to keep their opinions to themselves, on the record or not, in the presence of a Rolling Stone reporter.

The question is not even whether or not the General’s comments were accurate and, if so, what their implications might be for our foreign policy and politics.

The question is, given the considerable differences between the General and the President and our civilian national security management, whose war has the General been fighting? The one the President, our elected leader, has instructed him to fight, or the one General McChrystal believes he should be fighting?

The question of the day is, “Who’s in charge?” Has General McChrystal honored his Constitutional obligation to the maximum extent of his abilities, regardless of his personal opinions of the quality and direction of elected decision-making, or has he allowed those personal opinions to affect the course of our military actions in Iraq and Afghanistan?

-wf

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Question of the Day: When, in the Gulf, is it time for a “last resort”?

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

About a month ago,* I suggested what I thought was the obvious, that the use of carefully engineered explosives would do what BP obviously can’t, seal the open hole it made in the bottom of the Gulf floor under the Deep Water Horizon. In light of today’s new estimates of the extent of the problem, I think it’s reasonable to suggest that the use of explosives be given renewed and very careful consideration.

Some people have effectively dismissed of the use of conventional explosives by focusing their criticism on those few nut balls who have recommended nuclear force. Needless to say, the use of nuclear weaponry is nonsensical and unnecessary, and no one is seriously considering it.

Understandably, more reasoned experts have called the use of explosives a last resort. It’s tricky business that needs the input and management of our best scientists, engineers and industry experts, and which cannot be left up to BP to implement whose track record is abysmal, to say the least.

The simple objective is to focus enough force onto the well head to press and fuse it shut. Easier said than done? Of course. What isn’t? Is it a last resort? Maybe, but it’s doable, and last resorts are, after all, what you do when you’ve run out of options, when you’ve lost confidence in the ordinary solutions, when the scope of the damages from a continuing problem become unbearable, which is pretty much where we are now.

What? We’re supposed to wait for the relief wells BP is drilling? Does anybody out there really believe they’re going to work?

*“They’re the “BP” in ‘bupkis.’ The solution they haven’t and won’t consider.,” published May 18.

**“Scientists up estimate of leaking Gulf oil”, by Ray Henry, published today on MSNBC.com.

-wf


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Mandel Bread, the Final Solution to the Gulf Oil Problem

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Mandel (pronounced “mahn-dle”) Bread, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, is Jewish biscotti. I like to call it “Miracle Bread,” because I believe it is miraculous that it stays together despite the fact that it has, in my opinion, negative moisture content, if that’s possible. You think you understand the meaning of the word “dry”? Well, you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about until you’ve tried some, Mandel Bread that is.

However tasty, Mandel Bread is best consumed in small bites which can be difficult to swallow without a beverage, hence the tradition of dipping it into something. Just be careful not to overdo it. Too much Mandel Bread at one time and you won’t see saliva in your mouth for a month. Two or more pieces at a time will turn you into a raisin.

The absorptive powers of Mandel Bread are legendary. Even an undergraduate student in ancient history knows that Moses didn’t part the Red Sea, not exactly, but that the Jews, in a hurry to get the hell out of Dodge, spilled cartloads of freshly baked Mandel Bread which soaked up the water and allowed them to pass. It’s true. That’s the way it happened. I know this because my Grandfather told me, when I was a kid, that he was there and knew Moses personally.

And so, flash forward a few thousand years, the solution to the Gulf Oil problem is simple. First, we need to replace BP CEO Tony Hayward with someone who’s Jewish or Italian. (The British like to make scones, but they’re not nearly as effective.) Second, get everyone to work baking Mandel Bread and dump the finished product directly onto the oil in the gulf. I’ve done some calculations, and determined that less than 100 pieces using my Grandmother’s negative moisture recipe should do the trick. Hell, 200 pieces of that stuff will suck up enough sea water to offset the effect of rising sea levels associated with Global Warming.

Jeez, that was easy.

-wf


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Question of the Day: Who are we to tell Iran (or any country) that they can’t have nuclear weapons?

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

For the record, I find nuclear weapons, for any imaginable purpose, including self-defense, to be abhorrent. I don’t want there to be nuclear weapons, and I certainly don’t want Iran to have them for all the obvious reasons.

My problem with the repeated demands we have made has to do with the integrity of our position. My rule about telling other countries what to do is simple. Don’t expect them to acquiesce to demands that we wouldn’t agree to ourselves.
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They’re the “BP” in “bupkis.” The solution they haven’t and won’t consider.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

There is arguably enough oil in the earth, gushing out of the failed BP well in the Gulf of Mexico, to eventually cover the world’s oceans.  After all, it only has to be a molecule thick.  At the very least, we are in the midst of a continuing environmental disaster of potentially biblical proportions.  While BP’s various failed attempts to stop the flow are laughably pathetic, the fact is, this mess isn’t the least bit funny.

What is curious is BP’s failure to consider and implement the most obvious, quickest, least expensive solution: Set off a substantial explosive device at the wellhead on the bottom of the ocean floor.

The hole they have drilled to find the oil is relatively small and proceeds from the ocean floor more than two miles into the earth.  A carefully engineered device with sufficient power would seal that hole, fusing it shut, and that would be that.

And if BP isn’t up to it, Congress should give President Obama the authority to seize the well and get the job done without a moment’s further delay – at BP’s expense, of course.

-wf


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