Tag Archives: Wuf

Farfromworthit.

A new grandfather’s rant about a portable crib.
Saturday, November 12, 2011

I begin by offering the following Newtonian Law of Grandparent Consumerism: The portability of a complex product is inversely related to the sum of the time it takes to set it up and take it down, plus the size of the item in its portable form, that quantity times the square of its weight or, as this formula is more commonly known, E=MC2. (That’s not the actual formula, but it’s the only one I can still remember from the Physics course I took in college.)

For the record, a disclaimer: Don’t just buy something based on my advice. I have no idea what I’m talking about. Most of the technical stuff I know was learned when I was a teenager from aliens when my tin foil hat was blown off during a freak electrical storm. Ask around and do your own research. …There. My son’s an attorney. I don’t want him to worry.
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The Simple, Obvious, But Nonetheless Powerful Way To Get People Back To Work

Friday, September 16, 2011

What usually happens when we have downturns is that our President and elected representatives, Democrats and Republicans alike, flail about while they wait for the economy to get better on its own, not because of and often in spite of the billions we may have wasted with misdirected, ineffective policies and programs. Whoever’s in office when the recovery occurs takes credit for it, and we move on. That’s not happening this time, that is, the economy isn’t recovering fast enough on its own because there are structural issues, big things wrong with the economy which will take time for it to fix, time we don’t have.

Every now and then, I take myself way too seriously. I find myself facing what appear to be difficult, complex problems, the kind that make your head hurt when you think about solving them. But then eventually, thank goodness, there comes a moment. You know what I’m talking about. It’s the one when I blow my diet on the grounds that stress is more harmful to my health than fat, after an hour or two of mindless TV, followed by a pass-out nap on my couch. It’s the moment when I realize that the problem wasn’t that complicated after all. I strip the problem of its extraneous detail and focus on its core elements, and a simple, reasonable, often elegant albeit sometimes radical sounding solution presents itself. This is one of those times.
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The Child Safety Seat for New Grandparents

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Hi. As you can see from the picture, we’re having a baby. ..Wait, I need to explain.

By “we,” I mean my daughter and her husband. And that’s not the baby in the picture. It’s my daughter’s Cabbage Patch doll that my wife insisted we save, in the warehouse we call our basement, for our grandchildren. It’s been a while. I had no idea cabbage would keep that long.

I’ve been using the doll to make sure I know how the car seat works. It comes with a 68 page manual. The one we got our own kids years ago had a sticker that said, “Insert baby here,” with an arrow. “This end up.”
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Congressional Dorms

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Remember college? How the dorms had a way of making all freshmen equal regardless of what their parents did for a living or how much money they made? The way they forced the intermingling of nerds with the cool guys, the English majors with the engineering and science tools – and eventually, in more recent years, the girls with the boys, the blacks with the whites, the straight with the gay? It was nice, because dorm life helped open our minds, encouraging us to relate to others who were different than we were, to appreciate these differences and not get bent out of shape by them.

Maybe we should take the same approach to growing a better, more civil, more effective Congress.
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Things We Can Do For Free To Put People Back To Work

Wednesday, August 8, 2011

Hi. While spending money to put everyone back to work may be necessary – although our President and Congress haven’t a clue how to do that – there are some things that we can do immediately that won’t cost anyone a dime.
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Subprime Country

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Well, it’s official. Despite and perhaps because of the remarkable debt limit legislation our President and Congress have just completed, Standard & Poors has lowered our credit rating, our national FICO score, from AAA to AA+. We, the United States of America, are now a subprime country.

Apparently, S&P wasn’t so much worried that we wouldn’t increase the debt ceiling as that we’d do it without taking any significant, short-term steps to reverse our long-term tendency to borrow ourselves into financial oblivion. When a lender – and that is their perspective – is evaluating a borrower, whether personal, corporate or government, one of the most important components of that evaluation is recent behavior history. Poop happens, to be sure, but has the prospective borrower shown maturity, commitment and intelligence in how it has dealt with adversity and managed its resources? Does management – whether we’re talking about a household, corporate executives or the President and Congress – seem competent? To what degree can that entity be counted upon to protect and return, with interest, money that is loaned to it?

How depressing. Don’t blame S&P. Blame the President and Congress who have certainly done everything possible to discourage confidence in their leadership. These people, the President included, are clueless and wouldn’t recognize real solutions to our national financial and other problems if they tripped over them. And they have, tripped over them, that is.

The really good news is that we (our government) can now enjoy all the advantages subprime people do. We can now pay higher interest rates to borrow money on which we can’t afford to make the payments anyway, so who cares? Our military and other branches of government can now buy weapons, bullets and other stuff at places that advertise, “No credit, no problem!” Instead of driving shinny new limos, our President and Congressional leaders can drive themselves around in older, higher mileage used cars. This is great.

I see only one real problem. Do you remember how our government squandered hundreds of billions of dollars saving commercial and investment banks whose executives were making money hand over fist by recklessly lending to subprime customers, and how we gave them all that money on the condition that they promise to never, ever do that again? And to their credit, no pun intended, they’ve tightened up their underwriting and haven’t been lending any real money to anyone since then. They’re not going to help. Europe’s up the creek. Japan’s got it’s own problems to worry about. And borrowing more from China has too many strings attached.

So who’s going to bail us out now that we’re broke?

-wf

Who’s holding who hostage?

Thursday, August 4, 2011

FYI, “The Wordfeeder” is neither a Democrat or Republican, Tea Party or otherwise, but an honest-to-goodness registered Independent. As such, I just call ‘em as I see them, regardless of who I agree with or offend.

That having been said, consider the following TV drama scenario. Large men wearing ski masks, what else, … Just ski masks. They’re naked from the waste down. ..break into your office demanding that the President of your firm, who doesn’t know you from Adam, turn over the key to the men’s room which is kept locked at all times, precisely to avoid having thugs like them from going to the bathroom without permission. Okay, I think we can all agree that the large men are “holding you hostage.” Or can we?

Suppose, from the point of view of the large, masked men, you (your firm) posed a much greater threat when your management leased lobby space to a Starbucks and then withheld access to your lavatories. Maybe the large, masked men are basically nice guys who just feel they have no choice. Having made repeated polite, entirely civil requests for the lavatory key, they are at their wits end and feel, quite possibly correctly so, that they’ve run out of options.

Management, who considers you dispensable, particularly when issues as significant as public restroom access are on the line, tells the masked men that they should put their guns down, leave the building and they’ll talk about it later, maybe.

Who’s responsible for this crisis? The hostage takers, or the people who have acted, depending upon your point of view, with reckless disregard to the welfare of the general public?

As you probably know, our Congress went on vacation immediately after passing their debt limit extension legislation, leaving over 70,000 Americans without income pending resolution of a dispute over renewed FAA funding. Not only are these Americans temporarily out of work, there is over $1 billion of taxes which our government desperately needs that will go uncollected until the House and Senate get back from vacation. This is an example of audacity, of self-serving politics, of reckless incompetence of biblical proportions.

The Democrats in the Senate are claiming that the Republicans in the house are “holding them hostage” by approving additional FAA funding contingent upon putting an end to government subsidies of minor airline routes which we can’t afford to continue. (My wife believes that no one should be allowed to fly distances of less than 500 miles, and I agree with her, at least in principle.) Well, I think the Democrats are confused. I think it’s the Democrats, President Obama included, who want the Republicans to drop their demand and pass yet another “clean” funding bill, and they’ll talk about cutting expenses later. To which I say, at the risk of sounding like a Republican (ick), “Oh, yeah. When?”

Time’s up.

-wf

A Committee of Our Peers

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Why does anyone think that a “Super Committee” of 12 members of Congress, six each from both parties, is going to solve anything?

By “anything,” I’m including what to order for lunch.

Well, some ideas are just too big to keep to myself – like I ever needed a really big idea as an excuse to write. Do you know what I think? (I certainly hope not.) What I think is that the “Super Committee” should consist of 12 Americans selected more or less at random, like a jury.

I’m not kidding. 12 Americans selected at random, subject only to the following constraints, in no particular order: (1) They must be American citizens. (2) They must be registered voters – four of them Democrats, four Republicans and four Independents. (3) They must be at least 18 years old.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, (4) They cannot have ever run for office, or currently be running for office, or be employed by any office holder or candidate, by any political party, action committee, lobby, whatever. We’re all political. I get and like that about us. I just want to make sure there are no actual politicians or political activists on the committee.

There. My money tells me these 12 we pick will figure out what to do, and that it will be a well rounded solution that makes good, common sense. (Congress can then ignore their suggestions and get back to doing what it does best, whatever that is.)

Six months from now, when I’ve proved my point, the next thing I’m going to suggest is that, every two, maybe four years, we use the same criteria to select 535 people at random to be our House and Senate. …You can’t seriously think they won’t do better than the current bunch of yahoos we we’ve elected.

-wf

The Multiplier Effect

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Why do the President and Congress always talk about programs in terms of 10 year periods? Sometimes it’s because the changes they’re trying to accomplish are so huge, so momentous they’ll actually take 10 years to accomplish. Mostly, it’s because they want to exaggerate the beneficial impact of some new program or law while spreading out the negative effects on their corporate contributors and electorate supporters. They are, in other words, cheating. Spinning like a top.

Those of you who studied economics when you were in college are probably familiar with “the multiplier effect.” It’s the way buying one thing creates demand for other things that go into making the first thing, and so on. It may take only one stubble-faced guy, wiping his hands on an apron that had to have been dirty when he bought it, to slice that shwarma and make the gyro you’ve been thinking about all morning, but think how many other people were involved in making that giant lump of who knows what meat, the pita bread, the paper plates and 34 napkins you’ll need to eat it and the chewable antacids you’ll be popping later that afternoon – and the ingredients that went into making those things too.
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The Wedgy

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Why do the airlines allow all the passengers on a given flight to carry on luggage, winter coats if it’s that time of the year, and other stuff, regardless of the overhead space available to hold those items?

Oh, wait. When you read the title, you probably thought I was talking about the well-known “playground wedgy,” aka the “locker room” or “hallway wedgy,” whereby someone picking on you grabs the elastic of your underwear in the back and pulls it up so your underpants get stuck in… in your you know what. ..So I’ve heard, but claim not to know from personal experience. That’s my story. Anyway, this “Wuf?” is about an entirely different class of wedgy, the “airplane wedgies” of which there are at least two kinds.

(I’m curious. When I was in high school, girls didn’t wear pants. Wedgies were strictly a guys thing. Now that times have changed, is there anything like a girl wedgy?)
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