Noise of the Day: That ruckus you hear is the sound of Alfred Nobel spinning in his grave.

Friday, October 9, 2009

As you know by now, President Obama has just been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. Congratulations to him, no kidding. I certainly do not begrudge the President his success. Far from it. The more successful he is – particularly in the pursuit peace – the better off we are as a country, and the more safe and successful my family and me.

Clearly, the Nobel Prize Committee isn’t awarding President Obama this honor based on his accomplishments. He had only been President for 11 days as of the February 1 deadline for nominations. He’s only been President for 253 days, including today, during which he’s talked a lot about all sorts of things, international relations among them, but accomplished nothing of historic note, and very little otherwise. No, this award is about attitude and charisma, about expectations and hope. To make an award on this basis may be precedent setting, may even cheapen the value of previous Peace and other Nobel Prizes, but it’s the Committee’s business to do what it wants with Alfred’s legacy.

While many – including reporters and others on the scene on Oslo – were stunned by the announcement, in a way it makes perfectly good sense. We did, after all, elect Barack Obama President based on only three lackluster, do nothing years in the Senate. It was not an election based on experience or accomplishments.

We elected Barack Obama for his style, based on the hope that his rhetoric would become reality and – it must be said – in reaction to 8 horrific years of George Bush and Dick Cheney. Can you blame the Nobel Committee for doing the same, for wanting so badly to change the way things are in international relations that it would choose to break from tradition and make a statement about the way things ought to be?

Unfortunately, The White House is, more often than not, where dreams and expectations go to die in the bog of bad economic and social programs, and stupid foreign wars. The endorsement of his ideas by the members of the Nobel Prize Committee notwithstanding, the country and the world are waiting impatiently for the tangible results of his actions. Talk is cheap. Hype is a distraction neither he nor we can afford. Hope is important, even essential, but no antidote for bad domestic and foreign policy.

-wf

Additional reading… Breaking News: Nobel Prize Awarded to Fetus, published October 11 on the WordFeeder.


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“No we can’t!” Where is Candidate Obama now that we need him?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

If there’s something missing in the Obama White House, it’s a sense of déjà vu.

Candidate Obama kept telling us that the real fight against terrorism was in Afghanistan, not Iraq. (Wrong again. However unpleasant the Taliban, our problem is in Pakistan.) Now, not yet nine full months in office, President Obama seems surprised at General Stanley McChrystal’s assertion that a substantially greater commitment of troops and material will be required to accomplish the President’s objectives.

Hey! It’s not my imagination, but we’ve been here more than a few times before. In fact, this country, our country was born of an insurgency that overwhelmed the most potent military machine of its time which thought, mistakenly, that it could prevail at long distance, fighting in unfamiliar foreign terrain, against a native enemy. Sure, our Revolutionary War militia had vast, if not universal popular support. We were the good guys in that fight, but so what? It’s still reasonable to ask, when are we going to get the point?

Candidate Obama made a big deal about his having been opposed to the war in Iraq from the start. I’m referring, in particular, to his speech on October 2, 2002 at an anti-Iraq war rally in Chicago. While the wisdom and motivation of his comments are debatable, then State Senator Obama said the following:

I know that even a successful war against Iraq will require a US occupation of undetermined length, at undetermined cost, with undetermined consequences. I know that an invasion of Iraq without a clear rationale and without strong international support will only fan the flames of the Middle East, and encourage the worst, rather than the best, impulses of the Arab world, and strengthen the recruitment arm of al-Qaeda.

And then he added,

I am not opposed to all wars. I’m opposed to dumb wars.

Well, we now know President Obama’s definition of a “dumb war.” It’s one he didn’t start.

These meetings he’s having at the White House to deliberate the proper use of military in Afghanistan are admirable in one sense, shockingly naïve in another. It’s good that he’s taking his time and getting advice. It shows maturity in that he’s not sure of himself, willing to admit it and, presumably, not afraid to change course. Unfortunately, the entire premise of that military operation is wrong.

If history has taught us anything, it is not the role of the United States, it is not within the power of the United States (save our laying waste to an entire nation), it is not the legal right of the United States, nor is it the only or best strategy for the United States to employ on-site, regular military forces to stop insurgencies in foreign countries which we believe are undesirable – however correct that belief may be.

What, precisely, would happen if we pulled out of Afghanistan altogether?

We would still have the ability to monitor and take occasional military action against an enemy who would be far more visible. We deprive that enemy of much of the political capital which it derives from our occupying its country. Regrettably, we allow the Taliban to demonstrate, at the expense of the Afghanistan people, the very reasons we find them so deplorable – a reality which may eventually be the death of their movement, an objective which our military efforts in Iraq obviously failed to accomplish. And we can focus our attention through international politics and economics to cutting off the support and safe harbor that enemy and its terrorist cohorts enjoy in Pakistan.

Where is Candidate Obama now that we need him?

-wf


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The Bully

Short Fiction for Guests of the WordFeeder
Sunday, October 4, 2009

Jack knew that Oliver would be coming through the office kitchen door at 3 PM, plus or minus a couple of minutes. Oliver was trying really hard to lose weight, maybe 20, 25 pounds, and had promised himself he wouldn’t eat lunch before 12, or have an afternoon snack before 3. It wasn’t easy, but the routine was working for him, and Allison – second in command of his five person future projects analysis team, and the woman of his dreams – was beginning to notice.

Jack knew Oliver would be coming through the door, turning right, going directly to the refrigerator, opening the freezer and removing the last of the box of 4 Nestlé Drumsticks which he would proceed to eat right down to the tip, slowly enough to enjoy every bite, fast enough to avoid dripping any of it on the perfect ties he wore every day.

(Oliver preferred the “Classic Vanilla” Drumstick, delicious chocolate and peanut topped vanilla ice cream in a chocolate-lined sugar cone, believing that the newer models with the fudge or caramel core or chocolate ice cream were examples of major corporations tampering with perfection. By far and away, the worst example in this category, as Oliver had pointed out on occasion, was when Coca Cola tried unsuccessfully in 1985 to change the formula of what subsequently became known as “Classic” Coke. Oliver knew his stack foods. FYI, the Drumstick is the modern version of a discontinued product called the “Nutty Buddy,” invented years ago by its namesake, Buddy Seymourian – not to be confused with the men’s athletic cup of the same name whose slogan, “Protecting the boys,” pretty much tells you everything you need to know about that product.)

Oliver would be focused on the refrigerator, thinking about the analysis he was doing on a property his company was considering developing, and wouldn’t notice Jack leaning against the counter to his left behind the open door. Jack would wait, wait for Oliver to close the door to the freezer compartment, drop the empty box in the trash can, peel off the top of the Drumstick wrapper and turn to leave while contemplating his first bite. The first bite had to be carefully considered, like a diamond cutter making sure his first strike wouldn’t ruin what could be the perfect stone, or the way a Mohel thinks twice, even three times before he circumcises a baby boy. There was no room for error.

“Thanks!” Jack pulled off the surprise and snatched the Drumstick from Oliver’s hand. “That was way too easy,” he gloated.

Oliver said nothing, just staring at his last Drumstick, wondering what Jack and he would do next, and then raised his eyes to look up, from under his eyebrows, directly into Jack’s.

It was the moment Jack had been waiting for. Shoving the Drumstick toward his mouth, he took a huge bite which crumbled the peanut studded chocolate shell, a large piece of it falling to the tile floor. Jack laughed a bit while his free hand salvaged a bit of ice cream that was lingering precariously at the corner of his mouth. “Hey,” he said mockingly, “these are good.”

Oliver thought for a moment, watching yet another piece of chocolate and nuts fall to the floor. Was it worth it for him, he thought, to shove what was left of his Drumstick into the face of the asshole in front of him? Technically, Jack was senior to him, having graduated and joined the firm two years ahead of Oliver. Intellectually, and in every other respect, he was a poor excuse for everything he pretended to be, a coworker whose principal job seemed to be taking credit for everyone else’s work which made him the darling of the mid-level management to whom they all reported. Picking on Oliver, the only analyst in their division Jack worried about, had become a regular part of Jack’s daily routine.

“Here,” Jack extended the ruined cone as if it was a microphone, pretending to offer Oliver a chance to share.

Oliver thought for a moment, deciding instead to be as polite as he could, actually managing a slight, if insincere smile. “No thanks. ..You seem to be enjoying it even more than I would have.” And then, looking down at the floor and back up at Jack. “Be sure to clean up before you leave. Company policy.” Walking around his nemesis, Oliver headed out of the kitchen at a measured pace, not fast enough to avoid hearing the sound of his Drumstick hitting the inside of the trash can, the image of his wasted delight melting at the bottom with coffee cups and a banana peel swirling around his mind. In all relationships, business and personal, pleasant and adversarial, there are tipping points. However petty – it was, after all, nothing more than a snack – this was one of them. Oliver knew it, and the anticipation of his getting back at Jack once and for all made him feel strangely good about himself.

Unfortunately, Oliver being a good guy and laser focused on his work, Jack’s shenanigans continued unabated – including hitting on Allison about whom he cared zero, preferring less intelligent, less driven, more overtly flirtatious slutty types – as the deadline for Oliver’s report approached. Oliver and his team would do the research in painstaking detail. Oliver would write the report with Allison’s and the other team members’ help. Jack would read it and preview its findings with management. He was a quick study, and there was usually no stopping him from demanding and getting access to their work. Depending upon their reaction, he’d either take credit or suggest that there were still elements of the study that, well, “needed work.” Not to worry. He’d handle it. When the time came, he’d insist on making the formal presentation, or let Oliver do it and submit a supplementary report based on middle management’s concerns – the ones Oliver knew nothing about.

This time, Jack was beginning to sense, would be different. This particular project had an especially high profile, and had attracted senior management’s attention with an intensity none of them had seen before. Middle management was being tentative, hedging its bets. There was “no-nonsense” in the air, and it was making him uneasy.

Early the following afternoon, Oliver’s team was in the conference room engaged in what Jack figured had to be their last meeting before Oliver would put the final touches on the report and write up his recommendations. “Oliver.” Jack walked in, not caring that he was interrupting a highly animated discussion, professional, but nonetheless noisy, between two of Oliver’s team who were arguing about the pricing they’d recommend. “E-mail me the draft.” He was talking to Oliver, but looking at Allison, her auburn hair pulled back with a scrunchy they way she did when she’d been their overnight. “Hey, Allison.” (Just two simple words, but there was no way he could say them that didn’t sound creepy.)

“Jack,” she answered without looking up from the notes she was making.

“How about dinner tomorrow night, after the presentation?”

“No thanks,” she looked up showing the minimum courtesy she could, short of telling him where to get off.

“Don’t tell me you have plans?”

“She has plans with me.” It wasn’t true, but Oliver had had it with Jack’s crap.

“You’re kidding?” Jack turned to Allison, waiting for confirmation.

“I said she has plans with me. And you’ll get your copy of the report when it’s done, at the presentation with everyone else.” Oliver remained seated, working on draft text and tables he had spread out on the table in front of him.

“You’ll give it to me now.”

Oliver looked up, paused for only a second, before he asked the question he could no longer resist, “Or what?”

No response.

“Or what?” he repeated, more deliberately this time. “…Maybe you didn’t hear me? Just what are you going to do if I don’t give it to you?”

No response, but then, turning back to Allison, his voice uncharacteristically subdued, Jack decided to pursue a different subject. “You’re not really going out to dinner with Chubby?”

“Out?” Allison looked up, taking off her reading glasses. Reaching back to remove the clip, her chest pushing forward while she shook her head just enough to let her hair down. “I’m going to be fucking his brains out at my place over some sangria and cartons of carry out.” And then turning to Oliver, “Crab Rangoon and black bean shrimp, babe, same as last time?”

“Maybe…” He had to stop to swallow. “…maybe some pineapple chicken?” Oliver couldn’t take his eyes off her, while the heads of the other three on the team went back and forth between them as if they had table side seats at a ping pong game.

“Yeah?” Jack was determined to have the last word. “You two deserve each other,” and he left, heading down the hall toward the elevator and the middle management executive offices two floors up.

Oliver and Allison would have probably stared at each other for the rest of the afternoon if one of their colleagues hadn’t interrupted the silence for selfish reasons. “Hey, guys. Can he get us fired?”

“Them maybe,” one of the others answered, obviously kidding, “but not us.”

“You’ll be fine,” Oliver reassured them. “By now, he’s finding out that senior management had us hand in the final draft early, yesterday morning. I’ll e-mail these revisions they requested later this afternoon.”

“What about the presentation?”

“They didn’t need one. I’ve been keeping them up to date for weeks, on a daily basis. …I’ll be running the project, with Allison taking over here as of the Monday.” Turning to Allison, “You’ll have to hire a newbee to keep the team at five.” (She was pleased that he had recommended her for the promotion. Sure, Oliver liked her, but she was good, really good. He knew it, and so did she, but in a practical, not conceited way.)

“What about Jack,” Allison was wondering if he’d still be getting in their way.

“Not up to me, although I suspect a transfer might be an option.” Checking his watch, “Okay, enough. Good job everybody. It’s only 2:50. Plenty of day to get some work done.”

At 3 PM sharp, Oliver pushed open the door to the company kitchen, heading right toward the refrigerator, his head already busy wrapping itself around the first few project management problems he’d be facing. Opening the freezer compartment, the frosty mist hitting him in the face, it took both his hands to open the new box of Drumsticks his team had bought him, with the big red bow on top, and pull one out. Pushing the freezer door shut, he carefully removed the top of the wrapper, turning without realizing there was anyone standing behind him.

“Thanks!” Allison pulled off the surprise, snatching the Drumstick from Oliver’s hand. “You know, that was way too easy,” she smiled with the corners of her mouth as he watched the freshly applied red gloss on her lips wrap around the peanut covered coating, taking the perfect bite without so much as cracking any of the other chocolate.

Wiping some ice cream from her lips, she told him to, “Get your own,” turned and headed for the door. Pausing just as she got there, Allison looked back, took a second bite, licking her lips clean, rolled her eyes up to look at him, and asked Oliver the question that would make his year. “So,” her tone was matter-of-fact, but her eyes… her eyes were unusually blue, “are we still on for dinner at my place?” A quick air kiss and she left before Oliver regained consciousness and began running down the hall after her.

-wf

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Copyright as of the title date or earlier, by me.
(I write the WordFeeder blog.)  All rights reserved.
Email WordFeeder@verizon.net for additional information.

Organic Gardening

Short Fiction for Guests of the WordFeeder
Sunday, September 27, 2009

The wrapping on the front door to Marion’s suburban house was unusually hard. Whoever it was, he – “It has to be a man,” she thought to herself, apprehensively. – had decided to ignore the bell in favor of a less demure announcement of his arrival. There were people coming over at 3 PM, but that was, what…? She checked her watch as she grabbed a towel to wipe her hands on her way out of the kitchen, throwing it over her shoulder. …22 minutes from now.

Whoever it was knocked again, well less than a minute after the first time. In the hallway now, she was relieved to see the face of “Al” (Alison) Jacobs, her face peering in the glass panel beside the door. Dr. Jacobs had been her physician for more than a decade since her husband had died and she’d moved here to take the only college-level teaching job she could find at the time. Turns out, it was a good choice, a place to make good money and even better friends. “Hey,” Al waved to her. Relieved to see it was someone she trusted, Marion picked up her pace and closed the last few feet quickly.

“Hi. You’re early.” She was talking to Al, but studying the faces of the man and woman she didn’t recognize, the man first, then the woman and back to the man standing directly in front of her.

“Mrs. Abrams,” the man began to announce himself, extending a business card which Marion took from him. “I’m Special Agent Collier. This is my associate, Agent Macy,” he moved his head toward the woman standing behind and to his left, “who called you this morning. “May we come in?”

“Of course.” Marion opened the door all the way, stepped back and gestured to the great room where she had freshly made cookies, a few small bottles of water and a pitcher of ice tea nicely arranged on the coffee table around an open space in the middle she’d saved for something. “This way. We can talk in here. It was fall, but still comfortably warm and no coats to worry about.

Agent Macy handed her card to Marion on the way in, accompanied by a perfunctory smile while being certain to make the requisite eye contact her recently completed training demanded. She would forgive the young agent’s inexperience, but looking someone in the eyes standing that close to her made Marion want to squint.

“Thank you,” Doctor Jacobs was the last one in the door, and the only one of the three who seemed comfortable being there.

“Please, make yourselves at home. I’ll be right with you.” That courtesy out of the way, Marion went to her refrigerator and took out a tray of a dozen turkey, goat cheese and arugula sprouts sandwiches she had made on small homemade croissants.

“As you can see,” she commented in an attempt to lighten the mood, as she placed the tray in the center of the table, “I watch entirely too much Food TV. …Please help yourselves.”

Agent Macy, seeing the sprouts protruding artistically from under the perfectly baked crust above them, paused in mid-reach. “Maybe later,” she announced tentatively. “They look delicious,” which they did, she said politely with another attempt at a friendly expression. Marion wondered to herself what Macy would be like if she weren’t on duty, if Special Agent Collier weren’t there – and what made him so “Special.”

Making herself comfortable in her favorite corner of the couch where she’d thrown her sweater to make sure no one sat there, Marion decided to take the lead. Dr. Jacobs was also on the couch to Marion’s left, the two agents having sat in the chairs across from them. “So, uh, what’s this all about? …When Al, ‘Dr. Jacobs’ called yesterday, she said it was important that we meet as soon as possible. That wasn’t 24 hours ago. What exactly’s..”

“Mrs. Abrams,” Agent Macy didn’t wait for her to finish, “you had an appointment yesterday with Dr. Jacobs for a routine physical, is that right?”

“Yes. Nothing special, jus..”

“And while you were there, Dr. Jacobs observed a small scar on your abdomen?”

“Yes.” It was obvious that the FBI agent, who was following a list of questions she’d typed up and were on the left of her portfolio, a yellow legal pad for taking notes on the right, preferred short answers.

“And you indicated that it was the scar from a voluntary operation in which you gave up one of your kidneys to a non-profit organ live-donor program?”

“That’s correct. I’m only 37, in good health. Why not help someone else who might not make it without me?

There was quiet.

“Mrs. Abrams,” it was Special Agent Collier talking now, “when did you first think about donating your kidney?”

“Uh, I don’t know exactly. I’m an organ donor, you know, in case of an accident or something and I don’t make it. …More recently, my friend Joan… She and I have been taking evening classes, part of the Chef’s program offered to adults at the college where we’re on the faculty. We were joking about growing our own fresh herbs and vegetables, and she dared me to plant some arugula – I just love the stuff. – on my deck. …So I did.”

“How exactly did you do that, Mrs. Abrams?” Agent Macy was asking this time, determined to go through her list of questions.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, how exactly did you plant the arugula? Did you buy small starter plants? Seeds? Did you buy them locally? Through the mail? What, precisely, did you do?”

“Well, uh, …Joan gave me a website, ‘AuntMinniesFreeSeeds.org.” It’s a non-profit that sends you free seeds for vegetables to encourage people to grow their own healthy foods.”

“Is that what you did, you went there, on-line, and ordered some of their seeds?”

“Sure. For arugula. The stuff grows almost overnight. I didn’t know things grew that fast, and the arugula you get is… Well, it just tastes great, so much better than the mostly non-organic produce you buy at the store. Really delicious. It’s on the sandwiches.” Marion reached to lift of the tray of croissant sandwiches no one had sampled yet. “Here, try one,” but then realized there were no takers. It was quiet again as she put the tray down while she half-heartedly delivered the Aunt Minnie’s slogan, “You know, ‘Home grown vegetables with the flavor that out of this world.’”

“What do the seeds,” Agent Macy continued down her list, “have to do with your donating a kidney, Mrs. Abrams?”

“Well, on the website and on the DVD they send with the seeds – Loved it, by the way. Must have watched it a dozen times. I’m doing carrots next, I think, and then the herbs. Anyway, they make a pitch for you to donate a kidney, to be a live donor, to appreciate what you’ve done for someone else while you can. …It was… compelling and I decided not to wait and contacted them.”

“You called Aunt Minnie’s?”

“No, they give you a toll-free number to call to make arrangements for you with a local hospital. A nurse came over and took a medical history, gave me a simple exam, took a blood sample, gave me diet advice, you know, to make sure I was eating well – lot’s of arugula!” She laughed, but was the only one who thought it was funny. “The darker the vegetable’s color, the better it is for you,” she said tentatively, wondering if either of the agent’s could have cared less. “Aunt Minnie’s arugula are unusually dark… dark green.” They were just letting her talk.

“Was that the last time you saw the nurse before the operation?”

“No, there was another blood sample a month later, and then she called a few days after that to set up an appointment. They picked me up, took me to the hospital for outpatient surgery, and I was home that evening.” The blank stares on their faces was beginning to trouble her. “Everything went great.”

“Marion.”

“Yes, Dr. Jacobs.”

“Would you mind lifting your t-shirt and pulling down your sweats just a bit to show us the scar? I’m sorry to…”

“No. It’s okay,” Marion got up from the couch, turning slightly toward the two agents. “It’s almost gone.” And so it was, with only the faintest of lines still showing, almost unnoticeable.

Taking an 8 by 11 print out of the file folder she brought with her, Dr. Jacobs showed it to the agents. “This was taken yesterday afternoon, around 4:20 when Marion and I were finishing up. As you can see, the scar was minimal then, but still much more prominent than it is now.”

“Today’s Saturday, Mrs. Abrams. You had the kidney removed on Monday? Last Monday?”

“So?” The answer was “Yes,” but she didn’t get the point of the question.

“Marion, this incision should still have the stitches, shouldn’t be close to healing. In fact, there’s no indication there ever were stitches or staples. As best I can tell, it must have been glued shut, but I’ve never seen anything this neat. Surgical scars usually take years to disappear, if ever. …More to the point, the CT scan we did…”

“Are you saying they didn’t actually remove my kidney.”

“No, they took it out, it’s just that the scan shows that it’s growing back, and fast. A couple of weeks from now at the rate it’s growing, we’re not going to know you ever gave one up in the first place.”

“ So,” Marion was beginning to get the point, “how rare is this, Al?”

“This is never, Marion. I honestly don’t know what’s…”

“Mrs. Abrams,” Special Agent Collier interrupted, not wanting the Doctor to speculate or tell her too much. “You say they picked you up to take you to the hospital?”

“Yes?”

“Well,” hearing the inflection in Marion’s voice, “did they or didn’t they?”

“Look, what are you getting at? I told you, they picked me up.”

“Mrs. Abrams,” Agent Macy seemed concerned that her superior was being too severe. “One of your neighbors, the retired couple in the house with the blue siding across the street…”

“Yes, I know who you mean. The ‘Franks.’”

“That’s right. Apparently they were working in their yard Monday morning, mulching, planting some new bushes to replace the ones the deer have been eating.”

“What’s your point, Agent Macy?” Marion was getting impatient and more than a bit anxious.

“They told us that an ambulance picked you up around 10 AM. That someone knocked on your door…”

“The nurse I told you about.”

“…and that you got in the back of the ambulance and left with them.”

“That’s right. I told you…”

“And that you were back before 11. They know, because Mr. Stevens, your mailman, dropped off the mail and he never comes after 11. Never. They’re retired. Apparently getting the mail is a big deal for them. Letters from their grandchildren, occasional orders for some costume jewelry Mrs. Franks makes and sells on-line.”

“That’s pretty much true, I mean that the mail comes in the morning, but so what?”

“Mrs. Abrams, the ‘So what?’ is that you were gone for less than an hour. You told us you didn’t get back from outpatient surgery until late the in afternoon. An hour isn’t enough time for you to get to the hospital, do the surgery, recover and get back. Our specialist…”

“And I agree, Marion,” Dr. Jacobs wanted Marion to understand that what Agent Macy was saying made sense.

“…the surgeon who’s working with us says you should have been kept overnight.”

“More to the point,” Agent Collier’s voice commanded a whole higher level of attention,” there’s no hospital or clinic within 100 miles of here has any record of your checking in or any surgery that could have anything to do with removing your kidney – or transplanting it or sending it to any recipient.”

“But I remember going to the hospital. I got home. Turned on the evening news in my bedroom and slept for about an hour.” And Marion decided to stop talking. Feeling herself breathing faster, she remembered not to hyperventilate like she did twice when she was in college.

“Marion,” Doctor Jacobs say the change in her patient’s face, “are you okay.”

“What are you trying to tell me?” Her voice was resolute now, Marion’s mind pushing its way through the reality she was just beginning to fully appreciate.

“There’s more, Marion.” This morning, after I called Agent Macy – The FBI had sent a bulletin to doctors in the area to look out for situations like this. – I called the lab and had them pull a blood sample you gave us a year ago. They’ve started saving small samples in case we need a baseline for some reason. With your permission, I’d like take a fresh sample today. I’ve got my bag in the car.”

“Why? What are you looking for? Am I sick?”

“We don’t think so,” Agent Collier tried to reassure her. “At least none of the other cases have had…”

“What other cases?”

“There have been others, 74 that we know about, in three states. All of them bought seeds – genetically altered seeds – from the same website, watched the save DVD and ate what they grew. Exceptionally rapid healing, and the kidneys they had removed grew back. Three of the 74, as far as we know, actually donated their kidneys a second time before we found out about it.”

“If I’m okay, why do you need another blood sample, Al?”

“Because the others have experienced changes to their DNA.”

“What?!”

“I know, I know, Marion, it sounds… Well, I know how it must sound. The FBI has some of the best geneticists in the country working on it. …Marion?”

“What do I do now?”

“We’re going to have an FBI psychologist work with you. Here’s her card. She’ll call you tomorrow. She’s heading up the team that has been studying the DVD and any hypnotic suggestion it may have given you and the others.”

“By the way,” Agent Macy added, “the same thing’s happened to your friend Joan, except that we caught her before they picked her up. …And now she can’t reach the nurse, and the website’s gone.”

———————-

Two hundred eighty-seven miles away, at the small grocery store that served the rural town too far from the nearest city of any size…

“What are these, Bobby?” Jake, the Manager, one of his part-time stock clerk who worked there weekdays after school.

“They’re free samples of herbs from a new organic supplier. …Here. This is the sign that goes with it. There’s a website people can visit for more free samples if they’re interested. …Should I put them out?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Here’s the packing slip that the driver gave me.”

“Thanks. …Let’s see,” he began reading out loud, “‘For more samples and information about our seeds and other ready-to-eat produce, e-mail AMinnie@OrionOrganicFarms.us, Delicious locally grown organic herbs and vegetables, with flavor that’s out of this world.’ …Yeah, sure. …Okay, let’s get them out there.”

-wf

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Bum’s Rush: What are the Democrats (and President Obama) so worried about?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

It’s been a bad and telling couple of days for our democracy.

The Senate Finance Committee has voted against language which would have required the Senate to post its healthcare reform bill on the Internet for public review before voting on it.* To their credit, it has been Republicans in both the House and the Senate who are the ones pushing for this public review – and for updated information from the Congressional Budget Office. It’s the Democrats, in marked contradiction to candidate Obama’s promise of a transparent government, who are opposing allowing the public time to study this legislation prior taking a vote.

Just to be clear, the Republicans are asking for only a measly 72 hours during which the public – ordinary citizens like you and me – would have to read over 1,000 pages of complex, comprehensive healthcare reform legislation, think about it, talk among ourselves and convey our opinions to our Congressmen and Senators who would then need days to sort through the deluge of comments they’re likely to receive. All this in just 72 hours, and the Democrats won’t even give us that? What in the world are they so worried about?

To be fair, they’re probably more concerned about what the Congressional Budget Office might tell us. Either way, this healthcare reform legislative process has just gone from “difficult” to “nuts.”

There’s a common sense rule in business that the more the other side is pushing to close a deal, the more carefully you need to look at what they’re offering. This is one of those times.

More importantly, there’s a bigger issue at play here than healthcare reform. What the Democrats – and we’ve got to include President Obama – are telling us is that we, the people, are not even allowed a peripheral role in the legislative process. Legislation is their business. They, the Democrats in Congress, will determine when we’re allowed to speak and under what circumstances. What arrogance. Fair enough. We’ll just wait until Tuesday, November 2, 2010 and let them know what we think when it’s our turn.

-wf

*See “GOP seeks 72-hour window to read bills,” in today’s on-line edition of The Washington Times.


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Is President Obama considering resigning?!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Sure sounds that way. With the President’s approval, The White House has asked Governor Paterson of New York to withdraw his name for re-election on the grounds that Democrats in the state would benefit from having a stronger, more popular candidate at the top of the ticket.

It’s a free country, of course, in which the President has every right to suggest whatever he wants. His devotion to Party is especially admirable, and I’m sure he means what he says, that every Democrat considering running for election or re-election should put the good of the Party first and, if necessary, step aside in favor of a more qualified alternative.

Well, let’s think about that. What one politician is likely to have the most impact upon the electability of Democrats – Congressmen, Senators and Governors – around the country? Oops. Uh, that would be the President, President Obama himself, wouldn’t it? So, if it turns out that support of his healthcare, domestic economic, Iraq/Afghanistan and various other policies and initiatives threatens to adversely affect the chances of Democratic candidates in any meaningful way, he’s going to resign before the upcoming mid-term elections? Not run for re-election in 2012?

Wow. Is he a great American, or what? – the “what?” being the wannabe master of the old school politics candidate Obama told us he was coming to Washington to change.

-wf


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What President Obama Could Learn From Johnny Carson About Healthcare Legislation

Monday, September 21, 2009

Johnny Carson, the 30 year host of The Tonight Show before Jay Leno, was a consummate comedian, a natural talent who worked hard to perfect his understanding of comedy and the skill with which he made it happen. Barack Obama is a skillful orator who talks too much. I’m beginning to think he doesn’t know the difference between campaigning for office and managing the government now that he’s been elected.

So far at least, Carson is turning out to have been far better at what he did, than President Obama is at what he does. I know, there’s an apples and oranges problem in this comparison, but they do have something in common.

Carson had his own rules of comedy that he would discuss occasionally in the self-deprecating humor he would use when he screwed up. He was a master at making the most out of blowing a joke, his seemingly adlibbed recoveries often being more humorous than the original material had he delivered it perfectly. One of his rules which he would use when a joke had gone badly was that, if you had to explain it to the audience, it couldn’t have that funny to begin with. (You had to have been there, to have seen his monologues night after night, to appreciate how good he was it this, at leveraging his own shortcomings to his advantage and our delight.)

It’s a point that President Obama should study. Doesn’t it occur to him that if he has to keep explaining his healthcare reform program again and again and again, at every possible venue save only weddings and Bar Mitzvahs although I expect it’s only a matter of time, that the problem may not be that no one’s listening, but that no one understands or likes what he’s talking about?

Once again, I’d like to suggest that the President and Congress step back and solve one specific healthcare issue at a time, rather than struggle to enact comprehensive legislation so complex that not even its originators fully understand the implications and costs of what they’re proposing.* Individual issues are easier to define, to legislate and budget – and for the public to understand.

In the meantime, President Obama’s pitch is beginning to sound worn, and more than a bit desperate. For a guy who used the media so effectively to get elected, as President he’s beginning to suffer from over-exposure.

-wf

*If you have time, you might want to read…

“A Bits and Pieces Approach to Healthcare Legislation”
(#1: Pre-Existing Conditions)

“Bits and Pieces Healthcare Legislation #2: Overcharging the Uninsured”

“Bits and Pieces Healthcare Legislation #3: Buying Prescription Drugs from Canadian Suppliers”

“Bits and Pieces Healthcare Legislation #4: Coverage for Illegal Aliens”

“Bits and Pieces Healthcare Legislation #5: Coverage for People Who Can’t Afford It”

“Bits and Pieces Healthcare Legislation #6: Standardization of Forms”

“Bits and Pieces Healthcare Legislation #7: Making Cigarettes Illegal”

“Obamination: The Fallacy of the Public Option”

“Healthcare Reform Legislation: The Idea That Will Finally Make It Happen”


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Saul’s Laws:* #11. Expectations

Sunday, September 13, 2009

*See the Preface to the “Saul’s Laws” page at the WordFeeder.

As you know from Saul’s Law #10, “Life is short,” my father paid a lot of attention to time. What else is there, after all, but time. The universe may be infinite in its scope and history, but we’re not. We’re not.

Thinking about time and how little we have of it, he began to realize that we – particularly the more motivated among us – tend to chronically overestimate how much we can accomplish on a given day and in our lifetimes. It was, we concluded, quite possibly what made us special, as individuals and as a nation: a natural tendency to underestimate the difficulty of doing things, but with the determination to accomplish them anyway.

Unfortunately, while biting off more than we can chew may be an admiral trait historically, on a day to day basis, it can be very stressful – but that wasn’t my father’s primary concern. The real problem was that having too much to do would diminish the quality of the work we did. Bright man, wasn’t he, particularly given that he came to this conclusion decades before the term “multi-tasking” was originated, before personal computers, the Internet, cell phones and 24 hour 300+ channel cable TV. It’s not an illusion. Today’s world is more time consuming, more distracting than it was when I grew up, and in my father’s time before me.

To not do something well, not so much perfectly although that would be nice, but to not do it as well as you could was wasteful – part and parcel of failing to live up to one’s potential. Why was that so important, living up to one’s potential? Because that initiative was how we, personally and as a society, and as a species, moved forward. (Yes, my father and I had some weighty conversations on our way to Baltimore on Sundays when the Colts were playing at home, and when we were building stuff in the basement or trolling for rockfish off Thomas Point.)

And so, to minimize the stress in our lives and protect the quality of our work – personal relationships included – my father created Saul’s Law #11 on expectations: “On a daily basis,” he advised me, “focus on accomplishing only a relatively few, perhaps only two or three significant tasks. You’ll be lucky to get those done, but if you do, you’ll feel good about it. …and make sure,” he added, hearing her doing stuff in the kitchen upstairs, “that one of them has something do with your mother.”

Take this post, for example. What are we talking about? Six paragraphs, 500 or so words. Between the season premiers of “Bones” and “Fringe,” the e-mail I just had to answer, the deli thin sliced honey roasted turkey and Swiss sandwich and the mayonnaise I had to wipe off my keys – two hours later, and I’m done. Perfct. Not so much as a typo. Pretty good, ay Dad? (Maybe I’ll read it over during the Today Show and post it in the morning.)

My father also taught me that Hersey’s Kisses taste better when they’ve been in the refrigerator.

-wf


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Missing the Point: President Obama’s Desperate Attempt to Pass Healthcare Reform

Thursday, September 17, 2009

President Obama is clearly desperate to pass healthcare reform legislation, even to the point of pressuring the Governor of Massachusetts to appoint an interim replacement for Senator Kennedy. He’s worried that the vote is going to be that close.

For President Obama, it’s clearly more about politics, about a selfish, immature, unstatesmanlike desire to get his personal agenda approved, than about the quality and general acceptability of what Congress enacts. When it passes, he’ll cross another major issue off his campaign checklist, and we’ll be left to deal with the consequences for years after his term(s) in office.

The question is simple: Is it wise to pass legislation this sweeping, this expensive, of such profound importance for all Americans, by what may turn out to be a margin of only a single vote?

We’ve waited all this time. Why not work a little harder, wait a little longer to get it right, to produce legislation which a substantial majority of our elected representatives support?

No less an impressive statesman and President than Thomas Jefferson once observed that “Great innovations should not be forced on slender majorities.” Although it was 200 years ago when he said that in 1808, it seems no less relevant an observation today.

If you’re interested, here are some recent posts on the subject of healthcare reform legislation…

“A Bits and Pieces Approach to Healthcare Legislation”
(#1: Pre-Existing Conditions)

“Bits and Pieces Healthcare Legislation #2: Overcharging the Uninsured”

“Bits and Pieces Healthcare Legislation #3: Buying Prescription Drugs from Canadian Suppliers”

“Bits and Pieces Healthcare Legislation #4: Coverage for Illegal Aliens”

“Bits and Pieces Healthcare Legislation #5: Coverage for People Who Can’t Afford It”

“Bits and Pieces Healthcare Legislation #6: Standardization of Forms”

“Bits and Pieces Healthcare Legislation #7: Making Cigarettes Illegal”

“Obamination: The Fallacy of the Public Option”

“Healthcare Reform Legislation: The Idea That Will Finally Make It Happen”

-wf


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President Obama is the problem alright. It’s just that race has little or nothing to do with it.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

My apologies to President Carter, but he’s apparently so sensitive to racial issues, he’s missing the point. He, and others who are, once again, “playing the race card” as the media likes to say, need to ask themselves what would cause such unusually aggressive reaction from some of the President’s critics if he were white?

Is race, in other words, the only or even the most likely explanation? I don’t think so. I think this is what we get when we elect a phenomenon President, instead of a seasoned government leader. Isn’t it just possible that people are reacting to President Obama’s inexperience, to his lack of demonstrated fiscal and administrative management of our government?

He proposes massive healthcare legislation, but hasn’t yet offered a specific, written program for Congress to consider.

On the unfounded threat of imminent economic collapse, he spends tens of billions to prop up key players in the financial sector – To what end? – while getting Congress to commit hundreds of billions more in emergency funding for various private sector programs, most of which has yet to be allocated and spent. And did I mention we now own General Motors?

He’s moved the war in Iraq, which is still ongoing by the way, to Afghanistan where our military leadership is telling us it needs more troops, and that it’s going to take a while to win this – as if we didn’t know that going in.

Budget deficits, current and predicted, are huge and going nowhere but up.

And unemployment continues to increase as we, hopefully, approach the bottoming out of our worst recession since the Great Depression. He can claim his efforts have helped minimize the extent of this downturn, but most of us know better.

All this in his first 8 months in office – while demonstrating an exceptional, naïve faith in the ability and appropriateness of unprecedented peacetime federal government intervention in private sector affairs.

Whew! Absolutely breathtaking.

Could it be that the American people are just a little rattled, just a little nervous, and that it’s the colorblind anxiety so many of us are feeling that’s bubbling to the surface?

Making matters worse, the President is clearly still in a campaign mode. Speech after speech, he’s everywhere campaigning for healthcare and his other objectives – when he should be, so some would say, actually managing the budget, preparing detailed programs, fixing this, fixing that, one small, and some not so small problem at a time. Talk, talk, talk. It’s not visibility we want, it’s results. He’s already been elected, so why does it seem like he’s still running for office?

It seems like he’s still running for office, because he is. It’s all he and the campaign leadership he brought to the White House with him know. Think about how he got elected. Highly charged caucuses at which his young and other supporters did little to constrain their enthusiasm, followed by rock star campaign rally performances in front of thousands, often tens of thousands of exuberant fans. Yes, he riled us up when it suited his purposes, but now when the excited utterances of a tiny minority of concerned citizens comes back at him, the best his core supporters can do is conclude that it must be about race?

A word of political advice to the President: You dared us to vote for you despite the fact that you were black, and we did – some of us for that reason, most of us because we thought you to be a better choice than John McCain to get the stench of the Bush administration out of Washington. Get it out of your head that you were elected as the second coming of Kennedy, Roosevelt, Lincoln and Jefferson. You’re a new President with three years of nondescript Senate experience behind you, who so far hasn’t proven you’re worthy of the confidence of the American people who elected you.

Race is a ploy you can use too often. Focus on the business of running the government. You’re scaring the American people, making us uneasy, and that’s never a good idea, particularly in the midst of a serious recession. Stop running for office, and get to work micro managing your administration, even if it means a little less face-time with your teleprompters.

-wf


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