Things We Can Do For Free To Put People Back To Work

Wednesday, August 8, 2011

Hi. While spending money to put everyone back to work may be necessary – although our President and Congress haven’t a clue how to do that – there are some things that we can do immediately that won’t cost anyone a dime.
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The Badger

Short Fiction for Guests of the WordFeeder
Sunday, August 7, 2011

Joyce, the station’s third floor receptionist, was working at her desk. Having put off getting new glasses until her next annual increase, coming up in just 11 and half months, she found herself having to work unusually close to the copy she was editing for one of their segment producers. Poor near vision, together with her extraordinary powers of concentration that often found her ignoring incoming calls, were about to be overcome by the unusual shuffling sound of something walking toward her desk. It was as if someone wearing unusually large fuzzy slippers was coming her way, unable, for some reason, to lift his or her feet the way normal people do.

“Hi.” The voice was odd, in a cartoonish way, possibly electronically altered.

No response.

“Excuse me,” the voice tried again to get her attention. This time it did.
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Subprime Country

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Well, it’s official. Despite and perhaps because of the remarkable debt limit legislation our President and Congress have just completed, Standard & Poors has lowered our credit rating, our national FICO score, from AAA to AA+. We, the United States of America, are now a subprime country.

Apparently, S&P wasn’t so much worried that we wouldn’t increase the debt ceiling as that we’d do it without taking any significant, short-term steps to reverse our long-term tendency to borrow ourselves into financial oblivion. When a lender – and that is their perspective – is evaluating a borrower, whether personal, corporate or government, one of the most important components of that evaluation is recent behavior history. Poop happens, to be sure, but has the prospective borrower shown maturity, commitment and intelligence in how it has dealt with adversity and managed its resources? Does management – whether we’re talking about a household, corporate executives or the President and Congress – seem competent? To what degree can that entity be counted upon to protect and return, with interest, money that is loaned to it?

How depressing. Don’t blame S&P. Blame the President and Congress who have certainly done everything possible to discourage confidence in their leadership. These people, the President included, are clueless and wouldn’t recognize real solutions to our national financial and other problems if they tripped over them. And they have, tripped over them, that is.

The really good news is that we (our government) can now enjoy all the advantages subprime people do. We can now pay higher interest rates to borrow money on which we can’t afford to make the payments anyway, so who cares? Our military and other branches of government can now buy weapons, bullets and other stuff at places that advertise, “No credit, no problem!” Instead of driving shinny new limos, our President and Congressional leaders can drive themselves around in older, higher mileage used cars. This is great.

I see only one real problem. Do you remember how our government squandered hundreds of billions of dollars saving commercial and investment banks whose executives were making money hand over fist by recklessly lending to subprime customers, and how we gave them all that money on the condition that they promise to never, ever do that again? And to their credit, no pun intended, they’ve tightened up their underwriting and haven’t been lending any real money to anyone since then. They’re not going to help. Europe’s up the creek. Japan’s got it’s own problems to worry about. And borrowing more from China has too many strings attached.

So who’s going to bail us out now that we’re broke?

-wf

Who’s holding who hostage?

Thursday, August 4, 2011

FYI, “The Wordfeeder” is neither a Democrat or Republican, Tea Party or otherwise, but an honest-to-goodness registered Independent. As such, I just call ‘em as I see them, regardless of who I agree with or offend.

That having been said, consider the following TV drama scenario. Large men wearing ski masks, what else, … Just ski masks. They’re naked from the waste down. ..break into your office demanding that the President of your firm, who doesn’t know you from Adam, turn over the key to the men’s room which is kept locked at all times, precisely to avoid having thugs like them from going to the bathroom without permission. Okay, I think we can all agree that the large men are “holding you hostage.” Or can we?

Suppose, from the point of view of the large, masked men, you (your firm) posed a much greater threat when your management leased lobby space to a Starbucks and then withheld access to your lavatories. Maybe the large, masked men are basically nice guys who just feel they have no choice. Having made repeated polite, entirely civil requests for the lavatory key, they are at their wits end and feel, quite possibly correctly so, that they’ve run out of options.

Management, who considers you dispensable, particularly when issues as significant as public restroom access are on the line, tells the masked men that they should put their guns down, leave the building and they’ll talk about it later, maybe.

Who’s responsible for this crisis? The hostage takers, or the people who have acted, depending upon your point of view, with reckless disregard to the welfare of the general public?

As you probably know, our Congress went on vacation immediately after passing their debt limit extension legislation, leaving over 70,000 Americans without income pending resolution of a dispute over renewed FAA funding. Not only are these Americans temporarily out of work, there is over $1 billion of taxes which our government desperately needs that will go uncollected until the House and Senate get back from vacation. This is an example of audacity, of self-serving politics, of reckless incompetence of biblical proportions.

The Democrats in the Senate are claiming that the Republicans in the house are “holding them hostage” by approving additional FAA funding contingent upon putting an end to government subsidies of minor airline routes which we can’t afford to continue. (My wife believes that no one should be allowed to fly distances of less than 500 miles, and I agree with her, at least in principle.) Well, I think the Democrats are confused. I think it’s the Democrats, President Obama included, who want the Republicans to drop their demand and pass yet another “clean” funding bill, and they’ll talk about cutting expenses later. To which I say, at the risk of sounding like a Republican (ick), “Oh, yeah. When?”

Time’s up.

-wf

A Committee of Our Peers

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Why does anyone think that a “Super Committee” of 12 members of Congress, six each from both parties, is going to solve anything?

By “anything,” I’m including what to order for lunch.

Well, some ideas are just too big to keep to myself – like I ever needed a really big idea as an excuse to write. Do you know what I think? (I certainly hope not.) What I think is that the “Super Committee” should consist of 12 Americans selected more or less at random, like a jury.

I’m not kidding. 12 Americans selected at random, subject only to the following constraints, in no particular order: (1) They must be American citizens. (2) They must be registered voters – four of them Democrats, four Republicans and four Independents. (3) They must be at least 18 years old.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, (4) They cannot have ever run for office, or currently be running for office, or be employed by any office holder or candidate, by any political party, action committee, lobby, whatever. We’re all political. I get and like that about us. I just want to make sure there are no actual politicians or political activists on the committee.

There. My money tells me these 12 we pick will figure out what to do, and that it will be a well rounded solution that makes good, common sense. (Congress can then ignore their suggestions and get back to doing what it does best, whatever that is.)

Six months from now, when I’ve proved my point, the next thing I’m going to suggest is that, every two, maybe four years, we use the same criteria to select 535 people at random to be our House and Senate. …You can’t seriously think they won’t do better than the current bunch of yahoos we we’ve elected.

-wf

Pretense

Short Fiction for Guests of the WordFeeder
Saturday, August 30, 2011

“Did I miss him?! Is he here yet??” Clara rushed through the side door to “The Highway Diner,” the one with the rusted metal “Employees Only” sign next to the buzzer that hadn’t worked in years. Not waiting for the screen to slam behind her or for the gym bag she was carrying to make it inside, she blurted out her question in a loud whisper.

“No,” her cousin Janis, a waitress with no particular future plans, shook her head. “It’s still early.”

Pulling franticly on the doorknob to the “Ladies” restroom, it took her a moment to get the point.

“Hey!” a woman’s voice came from behind the door. “I’ll be out in a couple of minutes!”

“Sorry,” Clara apologized, spinning back, away from the door, toward her cousin. “The locker room.”
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The Plug-In

Short Fiction for Guests of the WordFeeder
(It’s time for something a little different.)
Friday, July 22, 2011

“Good afternoon, Nathan.” At precisely 3 PM, Dr. Cheryl Schreiber, Doctor of Psychology, somewhere in her thirties, opened the door to the loft where she lived and had her office. Even at a distance, he could feel the faint swoosh of air touching his face. “Com’on in.” Nathan had been waiting in the lobby Dr. Schreiber shared with the other professionals in the converted factory.

Rising quickly, Nathan took his eyes off the cable news that was playing on the flat screen on the wall across from where he had been sitting, turning to smile at the attractive woman he was there to see. Gray jeans, a white pleated shirt, her shoulder length hair shifting inexplicably when and however it wanted, she moved to greet him with a presence you could feel coming. “Hi.” He extended his hand, which she shook firmly. “Thank you for seeing me on such short notice.” They were alone in the lobby, and spoke openly. “I just felt I needed to see someone and a friend said you.. said you were easy to talk to.”
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Happy Anniversary!

To my wife who, unbelievably, is more beautiful now, in all respects, than she was the day I met her, from her husband who is not… (Now how is that fair?)
Happy Anniversary!
Thursday, July 21, 2011.

Although it’s been a while, the number of years we’ve been married doesn’t matter. All I know is that I’ve been in love with you forever and always will be.

-wf, aka “me”

“Hello?”

Short fiction for guests of the WordFeeder.
Sunday, July 17, 2011

Even from their bathroom, over the sound of the shower, “Benny” could hear her phone ringing, the cell phone she’d left on their sofa in the small… no, tiny city apartment she shared with her friend, Denise. (“Benny” was short for “Benjamin,” her mother’s maiden and her middle name.)

“GET THAT!! If it’s Marc,” she shouted, “tell him I’m in the shower, ..naked, ..alone, ..thinking about touching myself, but saving myself…

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll get it,” Denise yelled back. “…How long,” she thought to herself, “can she stay in the shower? No wonder people in the building complain about not having any hot water. Maybe she’s…,” her eyebrows went up, her head angled slightly, her eyes looking around while she thought about it.
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The Multiplier Effect

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Why do the President and Congress always talk about programs in terms of 10 year periods? Sometimes it’s because the changes they’re trying to accomplish are so huge, so momentous they’ll actually take 10 years to accomplish. Mostly, it’s because they want to exaggerate the beneficial impact of some new program or law while spreading out the negative effects on their corporate contributors and electorate supporters. They are, in other words, cheating. Spinning like a top.

Those of you who studied economics when you were in college are probably familiar with “the multiplier effect.” It’s the way buying one thing creates demand for other things that go into making the first thing, and so on. It may take only one stubble-faced guy, wiping his hands on an apron that had to have been dirty when he bought it, to slice that shwarma and make the gyro you’ve been thinking about all morning, but think how many other people were involved in making that giant lump of who knows what meat, the pita bread, the paper plates and 34 napkins you’ll need to eat it and the chewable antacids you’ll be popping later that afternoon – and the ingredients that went into making those things too.
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