Tag Archives: Life

IM

Short Fiction for Guests of the WordFeeder
Saturday, April 12, 2008

“Hey.”  Robert Brent, EVP for Media Operations, looked up from his desk at the man standing in the doorway to his office.  Gesturing quickly with his the pen in his right hand, “Come on in.  …Just give me a second to finish this,” he went back to writing unintelligible notes on the single sheet of white paper in the only clear space he had left on his desk.

Finished, for now, he looked up.  Sitting on the edge of one of the two guest chairs was the rumpled Management Associate he used for everything.  Not yet 30, Will would never make the pages of GQ.  Other than not looking good in a suit, there wasn’t much he couldn’t do.  He was a natural, a person executives like Brent used, but also respected, a rare combination given the intense in-company competition that was the world of their business.  More to the point, Will was good, really good, but without the experience to be a threat to his mentor.  Some day probably, but not yet.

“Here’s the transcript I told you about.”  Will sat up slightly, leaning forward to hand a copy across the desk.  “It’s less than 20 minutes old.”

Charles:           “I thought you weren’t working late tonight.”

 Will sat there, already familiar with the text, while Robert read it for himself, out loud.  Charles was brash, sometimes hard to take, but the most effective media buyer they had.

Adriana:          “ I’m working on tomorrow’s presentation.  Leave me alone.”

Charles:           You could always delete my e-mail address.”

Adriana:          “I didn’t think I had any choice.”

Charles:           You don’t, not if you want to keep your precious reputation intact.”

Adriana:          “Stop it.  I don’t want to have this conversation on-line.”

Charles:           “They watch our e-mail.  IM is live.  We’re okay.”

Robert looked up.  “I thought he was right.  How’d you get this?”

“It’s the new kid in IT.  The one we picked up on work release from “juvi.”  There’s nothing he can’t do.”

“Hm.  That’s scary.  Can we trust him?”

“Are you kidding?  We don’t even understand him.  Our only hope is that he likes us.”

“Great,” and Robert looked down again at the transcript, mumbling almost to himself, “Find out what he wants and make sure he gets some.”

Adriana:         (No response.)

She’d been there almost a year.  Just three years since her MBA.  Very competitive.  Attractive, but not so much as to be distracting.  Hard working, and obviously smart, there was something Robert didn’t trust about her, an insincerity he felt, but couldn’t confirm.  She’d have to get past Charles to make any real progress, but didn’t have the contacts in the media, and was relegated to handling buys in the smaller markets.

Charles:           “I’ve got another friend I’d like you to meet.”

Adriana:          “Screw you, and I hope they are listening.”

Charles:          “You did great.  We’d never have gotten that pricing without you.”

Adriana:          “That just happened, you jerk.   I actually liked the guy.  So it helped the company.  Good, but it’s not something I’m doing on a regular basis.”

Charles:          “You’ll do whatever I tell you to do.”

Adriana:           (Pause.)  “What makes you think I won’t print and drop this on Brent’s desk in the morning?”

Charles:          “Because we’ll both be fired.  Because by the time Will gets done spreading the word, you’ll be lucky to find work waiting tables in Sioux Falls.”

Adriana:         “Up yours.  I’m going home.  Stay away from me, or I’m calling a lawyer, whatever it costs me.”

“Is that all there was?”  Robert was hoping for more.

“That was it.”

“Are we sure it’s real?”

“They were both in their offices, on their computers when I walked by a few minutes ago.  Besides, neither of them would know how to fake their IP addresses, or have a reason to write this if they knew we were listening.”

Robert wasn’t so sure.  You could tell the way he looked away from Will, turning and then tilting his head slightly from side to side, and did that small thing with his lips.

“ …So what do you want to do?  We’ll lose clients, not to mention Board support for your expansion strategy if we’re slapped with an harassment suit and it makes the paper.”

“I’ll call San Francisco.  There’s an opening there.  It’ll be a promotion for her, and Hastings owes me one.  As for Charles, I don’t want him to know we have this.  Let’s see what he does next.”

“Good night, guys.”  It was Adriana, coat over her arm, the weight of her heavy leather briefcase forcing the one shoulder higher than the other.  “See you tomorrow.”

Will, turning in his chair, raised his eyebrows, his way of saying, “Hi.”

Brent went out of his way to be pleasant.  “Thanks for staying.  Good luck with the presentation.”  And was that.

Fourteen minutes and a short taxi ride later, she kicked the door to her apartment closed with the heel of her shoe.  “Hey, how’d it go?”  Dropping her coat and briefcase onto the hardwood, she wasted no time unbuttoning her blouse, kicking off the comfortable business heels she’d been wearing that day without breaking her stride.

The kid on work release, his red floppy hair in disarray, looked up from the copy of Maxim he’d picked up from the newsstand on the corner.  “I’m guessing they’ll be recommending you for the opening in San Francisco as soon as they open in the morning.”

“And Charles?”

“He hasn’t a clue.”

-wf

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Copyright as of the title date or earlier, by me.
(I write the WordFeeder blog.)  All rights reserved.
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Birmingham Airport

Short Fiction for Guests of the WordFeeder
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Printable version… Birmingham Airport PDF

“Excuse me,” I said apologetically to the young man standing behind me.  “I try not to run people over with my briefcase, but sometimes…”

“It’s okay,” he said, glancing down and then back up again at a similar model he had next to him.  “I hope you have insurance?”  He was kidding of course, and went back to checking his Blackberry.  In his early 30s, tie still tight around his collar, the sleeves of his stylish, mostly blue striped shirt still rolled down to his wrists, his suit jacket neatly folded over one of his arms, he had to be new at this.

I was second, he was third in the crowded line at the miscellaneous foods stand that served the cul de sac of gates at the end of the “C” terminal.  Pizza on one end, plastic wrapped sandwiches and bottled drinks in the middle, frozen yogurt behind the cash register on the right.  The other side was a bar for suits who had given up on doing any more business for the rest of the day.  I couldn’t blame them.

My flight was running a few minutes late.  I figured a frozen yogurt would be my only shot at something to eat before I’d be home after 10.  How bad could it be?  I took out five ones which should have been enough.  I was ready, not wanting to waste any time when it was my turn.

“Hi.  I’d like a cup of…” which is all I said before looking down from the menu to the face of the clerk behind the counter.  If there was a smile that could arrest speech, and make really bad food taste good, it was hers.

“Hey,” she answered my interrupted order without the least evidence she understood the power of that face.  She was black, late 20s maybe, with the perfect color skin and electric eyes I couldn’t escape.

I tried again.  “I’d like a small cup of vanilla.  Do you have anything to put on it?”  It’d been a rough day.  I thought I splurge, do myself a favor.

“Sure.  We have, uh, chocolate sauce and M&Ms,” she said tentatively.

“I’ll have the chocolate.”  I heard myself talking, but wasn’t sure I’d said it out loud.

She smiled back at me, this time almost giggling.  “Sorry, but we’re out of chocolate.”

“Hey,” I thought to myself.  “She had a fifty-fifty shot of my never knowing, and went for it.”

“Wait,” seeing the feigned disappointment on my face, the not so subtle roll of my eyes.  “Let me see what I can do,” at which she turned, actually spun is more like it, squished out my yogurt from the vanilla side of the machine, and attacked the hot fudge dispenser, pumping furiously.  “Here.  How’s that?” she asked me, holding out the cup to me, her arm fully extended with pride.

“That’s…”  There were a few unsightly globs of thick brown something on top of the yogurt which, incidentally, I just noticed was an odd color gold.  “…perfect.”

“$3.78.”

I gave her the first four ones, which she accepted and counted by spreading them with her left hand while her right moved to the register, but then stopped, pulling out the third bill and waving it at me.

It was a ten I had stuck in my wallet out of place.  “Ooo,” a not so clever response, but all I could come up with at the time.  So I took back the ten and handed her the other one, and she gave me some change, which I was purposely slow to take.  “Thanks,” I told her, “for everything,” which is what I wanted to say, but didn’t.

Not so as to hold up the line, I just rolled and stuffed the money in my pocket with the receipt, figuring I would get organized on the plane when the guy sitting in front of me leaned his seat so far back I couldn’t open my computer.  (My office can’t stand it when I give them wrinkled receipts, but what do they know?)  “Excuse me,” I said again to the man in line behind me, who had started to move forward just a second before I left.  Yogurt in one hand, the handle to my briefcase in the other, a walked and rolled it away to the counter where they had napkins and the plastic spoons used only at the finest snack bars.

Fortunately in some respects, unfortunately in others, it would be an hour and a half later, at 37,000 feet that I would realize I’d lost my wallet, and taste for frozen yogurt.

About the same time, in a hotel room near the airport where the young woman had just arrived, she tossed the light jacket she was wearing onto the first of the two double beds even before the door had closed behind her.  “Hey.  Sorry I’m late.”  She bent over to kiss the man who had been in line behind me before waiting for him to answer.

“Pretty good,” he told her, grabbing her cotton shirt to pull her toward him, rolling back onto the other bed where he had been sitting, the two of them just missing the wallets he had dumped from his briefcase, mine included.

“Hey,” she said, pushing herself off his chest, flashing that familiar smile.  “Let’s get out of here and buy stuff before all these guys start landing.  We can do this later.”

-wf

What to read more? Just click here and pick a title you like.

Copyright as of the title date or earlier, by me.
(I write the WordFeeder blog.)  All rights reserved.
Email WordFeeder@verizon.net for additional information.

I Married A Post-It

Sunday, December 30, 2007

My wife is constantly reminding me of things.  About what night she goes to her Pilates class, so I don’t worry if I try to call and she doesn’t pick up.  Or about the family reunion with relatives on her side I’ve mostly never met that’s in three months, like I need to stop now and get dressed.  I act annoyed when she does it, when she reminds, but the fact is, if she didn’t, I wouldn’t remember.

There are notes everywhere, “Do Not Eat,” for example, on every tasty item in the refrigerator.  Why not save a tree and just label the things I can eat?  When I do the dishes, I can’t see the woods out back because of the “stickies” on the window panes over the sink.  Even the toiletries in my medicine cabinet and in our bathroom closet have homemade inventory control labels on them for me to remind her to buy more when I use the last one we have in stock.  Ingenious, certainly, although more than a bit annoying, but then it’s the persistent verbal reminders that really drive me crazy.  How many times can she remind me not to lock the inside garage door behind her which I think I did once, four years ago?  My wife – the love of my life, no kidding – is a human Post-It.

It’s a sign of the times.  Whether we use Post-Its, PDAs, Day-Timers, or calendars on our personal computers, we’ve become a people who can’t keep track of our lives without help.  More to the point, we’ve got more to do than we can possibly get done.  More e-mail and voice mail than we can answer.  More paperwork at the office and at home than we can do.  Is it my imagination, or are our households becoming small, micro-businesses requiring more and more time to run?  Don’t believe me?  Try arguing a doctor’s bill with your medical insurance company.  No wonder Internet shopping is becoming so popular.  Who has time to go anywhere?  And the more time you spend on-line at work, the less you get done there, the longer the hours you work, and the more you need to shop on-line.  What a mess.

When was the last time you went to bed having accomplished everything that came in that day for you to do – not to mention what was left over from the day before?  When was the last time you could honestly say to yourself, “Finally, I’m all caught up.”?  As far back as you can remember, have you ever taken a day off, especially in the middle of the week, without the feeling that you were two days behind when you went back to work?  For that matter, when was the last time you took a day off and didn’t use at least part of it to catch up on personal business?  When was the last time you actually took a day off, a worry-free, no chores, no e-mail, no calls, honest to goodness break?  …I thought so.  Me neither.

Let’s do the math together.  The day is still 24 hours long.  Scientists who study these things tell us that Americans are getting too little sleep, less sleep now than the generations before us.  We have, in other words, actually increased the amount of awake time we have do stuff – and yet we’re still running behind.  The simple conclusion is that something has happened to give us more to do than our parents.  A lot more.  What could that be?  What’s different about these times, than those times?

Well, for one thing, more of us live in large, sprawling metropolitan areas nowadays than we did a generation or two or three ago.  It takes more time to get places than it used to.  I live in the suburbs between Baltimore and Washington.  The other day, my wife grabs her coat on her way out the door to the garage.  (I stand up to lock the door behind her.)  “I’m just running up to the Giant,” she tells me at such speed the tone of her voice has a Doppler Effect.  “Back in 5 minutes, tops.”  It was only a figure of speech.  (For those of you from someplace else, “Giant” is chain of grocery stores around here, and the one in our village center.  It’s maybe a quarter of mile from our house.)  In fact, door to door it’s 10 or more minutes just getting there.  It takes three or four minutes getting in the car, out of the garage, assuming she takes the time to put the door up first, and on her way up the street.

Get there, find what she needs – assuming they’re not out of it so she has to go to another grocery store – wait while the person in front of her in the self-checkout line bags his groceries that have piled up and over the end of the conveyor belt, check out, get to the car, return the grocery cart (rather than roll it into another car or leave it to take up a space of its own), drive back and get in the house.  Five minutes, even figuratively speaking?  I don’t think so.  When I was little kid growing up in Annapolis, my mother would take me with her when she did her once a week shopping at the A&P.  She in her house dress, me in charge of reaching up to push the cart as best I could.  It was a job I took very seriously.  It was a very different time, with a slower, less pressured pace.

It didn’t take as long for most of our parents to get to work, or to run out and grab a quick lunch.  There were fewer people, and less time wasted waiting in traffic or in line.  And there were fewer two income households, which meant that many women were working at home, taking care of that component of their personal or family business their daughters and granddaughters now have to do in addition to a full day on the job somewhere else.  That’s all part of it, but I don’t think that’s all there is to it.

I think there may also be negative consequences, a counter-productivity from the very technology we’ve created to save ourselves time.  I wonder if it actually saves time, or just emboldens us to take on more work, creating the illusion that we can do more in the same amount of time, which turns out not to be true.  It’s gotten to the point that I’m spending a significant amount of my time just managing my schedule, time I’d prefer to be using to actually do the things I’m scheduling.

It takes me more time, for example, to go through my inbox than it does to respond to the few e-mail in there that are really important.  Periodically, of course, I force myself to respond to the e-mail I get as it comes in, rather than letting it pile up like paper mail used to in the in-basket I no longer have on the corner my desk.  So what happens?  What happens is that, while I’m responding to all these e-mail and taking calls on my cell phone rather than letting them roll into voice mail, I’m not getting anything else done – or what I am getting done, I’m not doing as well as I could.  I’ve got less paper to deal with, sure, but way more information.

And it’s not just the volume of it all, it’s also the way it pokes at us, disrupting our concentration.  In a way, it reminds me of when my children were little and would keep interrupting me when I’d be trying to work at home – except that I really like my kids, still do, and felt that talking to them, and seeing the ideas flash in their eyes, were the highlights of my day.  E-mail and my cell phone are a different story.  New technology aside, it still takes time, uninterrupted thinking, to figure out complicated things and to be creative.

Some of us, I’m not one of them but I get it, like to have music playing in the background while they work.  Personally, I prefer the sound of things happening, the honk, honk, beep, beep of the city, so to speak, outside my window, the noise of stuff going on in and around my office and home.  But that’s all at a distance.  How much thinking can anyone wearing earphones really do with his favorite group live on stage in the middle of his head?  As a patient, you might not mind your doctor having music playing in the operating room, but how would feel about him listening to his iPod with your life hanging in the balance?  Too dramatic?  Ever turn on your car radio or talk on the cell phone on your way to or from work, arrive safely, but without being able to remember the trip?  It’s all too distracting, too up close and invasive.

No question about it, we’re suffering from over-communication, from too much information coming at us from too many sources.  Did you know that my new cell phone holds 500 contacts?  Heaven forbid any significant number of them would want to call me.  I only know 18 people, 18 people I’d want to talk to more than think about something else, or actually pay attention to what I’m doing – 19 before my cat, Scooter, died.  (I think I need to get another cat, but there’s no replacing “The Scoot.”)  The other 482 can wait until I get to my office, or send me an e-mail.

I’m not sure, but I think our new technology may have taken a wrong turn, or maybe we need to learn to relate to it differently.  Note to wife:  “Honey, would you please remind me to…  To, uh…  Sorry, I’ll think of it in minute.  I had it before I stopped to write that last paragraph.  …Honey?  Where are you?!”  Nuts, there’s never a Post-It around when you need one.

Paparazzi

Saturday, October 6, 2007

There’s a simple solution to the paparazzi problem.  All Congress has to do is pass a law giving qualified, registered celebrities ownership of all pictures taken of them.  The effect of the law would be to prevent publication of those photos or videos without their permission.  Without the ability to sell their services, that will be that for the paparazzi business.  Celebrities can always choose to permit the use of material they consider acceptable by selected publications and television programs.

“Thank you for coming to Wendy’s.”

Monday, September 10, 2007

How many times have we been told to wash our hands, by everyone from your and my mother to the Surgeon General?  Anyone with a minimum awareness of routine public health issues knows to avoid touching escalator handrails and other public items, shaking hands with someone with an obvious cold, and then putting our hands to our face or mouth.  Pass me the hand sanitizer, please.  I understand, although I’ve always thought touching all this stuff and breathing everyone else’s air helped keep my body’s immune system in tune, so I’m not all that careful.  (“Aaaachoo!”  Just kidding.)

I’m particularly appreciative of fast food restaurants whose employees wear hats to keep their hair out of my food, although they seem more fashionable than effective.  (Where have all the hairnets gone?)  Latex gloves are especially important for the staff who prepare your food.  Gloves are not perfect, of course, particularly if the “the kid” is wiping his nose between the burgers he’s assembling, but they’re better than nothing.  I hope.

So why am I writing this?  Because the fast food industry has to go one step further, in a hurry.  Because I’m tired of having someone hand me a cup for my self-service drink with his bare hands around the rim.  At least I can use a straw, which I do, every time, comfortable in my belief that germs can’t swim or hold their breath undersoda.  Even more disconcerting, we’ve got to do something about the way some restaurants conserve on napkins by having the cashier put them on your tray or in your bag, the same cashier whose been handling everyone’s money for his entire shift, and doing who knows what between customers.

A few days ago, I was flying back to BWI, through Nashville, from Houston’s Hobby International Airport.  It was one of those crack of dawn flights.  Desperately hungry, I got in line at Wendy’s in the food court, one of the few places open that early in the morning.  I figured an order of French toast sticks, with a box of orange juice, was the healthiest thing on the menu.  Who knows, but that’s not the point.  Moments later, the cashier, a young woman probably in her teens, no doubt dreaming of doing something else for the rest of her life, hurriedly dumped the little box containing my sticks in a bag, all of which fell out, followed by a potato patty which fell out of its pouch, and then picked up two napkins with her bare hand, crumbled them, and stuffed them in the bag on top of the open food.  While there are many things wrong with this customer service, chief among them was the feeling and the fact that every time I wiped by face, I might as well have been doing it with her hand.  Fast food or first class restaurant, think about it the next time the waiter hands you a napkin to replace the one you dropped on the floor.  The Wendy’s girl seemed pleasant enough, but do I really want to be wiping my mouth with some else’s fingers?

I’d like to speak to the Surgeon General, please – provided we don’t have to shake hands.

Cell Phone Emergency Stand Down

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

All of us are familiar with the law that requires that we move our cars out of the way to make room for emergency vehicles when we hear a siren or see their flashing lights.  It’s a minor inconvenience and the least we can do to help someone in trouble.  It’s common courtesy, and common sense.  Keep that in mind when you consider what I’m about to suggest.

Remember how, on September 11th a few years ago, the cellular phone systems in New York City were overwhelmed?  Everyone was calling everyone else.  Some were making sure loved ones and friends were okay.  Others were just calling each other to talk about what was happening.  All this, in addition to the usual business and personal calls.  Unfortunately, there may have been people in trouble because of the attack, and other people who had real, life threatening problems elsewhere in the city, but who couldn’t get through on their cell phones to get the assistance they needed.

The other day, when the highway bridge collapsed in Minneapolis, the same thing happened.  The cellular networks serving the Minneapolis area were overwhelmed.  And then it occurred to me, why not pass a law that does for cell phone traffic what current law does for highway traffic?  Let’s require, when the authorities announce a state of emergency which specifically includes an order to curtail non-emergency cell phone activity in a given area, that all of us in that area discontinue using our cell phones until further notice.

Yes, some of us will have to postpone talking to each other until later.  Some of us will arrive late to meetings without being able to call ahead.  Business will be affected.  And some of us will be anxious while we wait to hear from family and friends who may be in an affected area.  In fact, the collective effect is such that the very act of calling to check with the people we care about may put some of them in jeopardy.  Like it or not, individuals acting in what each believes to be his or her best interests can, collectively, produce a counter-productive result.  Staying off the phone may give other people who really need help an extra chance of surviving – which is more important, and precisely what we would want for ourselves and our own children if we were in trouble when an open cell phone line could make a life saving difference.

Exceptions would be incoming calls.  Calls to and from emergency personnel, such as might be necessary to call them back to work.  Calls to and from kids, let’s say 12 or younger, who might be waiting for parents to pick them up, or who might be frightened or confused, and not know what to do.  Even with these exceptions, most of us would be off the system, traffic would be manageable, and real emergencies more easily identified and resolved.

Enforcement would be, for the most part, self-imposed, as it is when cars move of the way of emergency vehicles.  Most of us are responsible and caring.  And who hasn’t imagined him or herself trapped in the World Trade Centers, or in one of the cars on the bridge in Minneapolis?  More than anything, it’s this empathy that will make it work, and the good feeling that all of us will share in having done our small part to help in a crisis.